This post really has nothing to do with London, except for the fact that my time here is quickly coming to a close and I am scrambling to figure out what comes next. All good things must come to an end right… or do they?
As a disposable twenty something I think it is safe to assume that you don’t want to read my psychobabble but here you are, at the end of the sentence (just like I made it to the end of my childhood). It’s an oddity how we as humans choose to move forward, how we decide to go on. At the age of 21 it seems as if it’s impossible to move forward when you’re trudging through the muddy waters carrying your previous unpaid 9-5 and your decaying social life over your shoulder as you try and imagine, daydream or fantasize about what lays ahead. I for one, reside in the comforts of the future.
I understand the idea that we are here, here is now and now is the present and that in all holistic theories I should be focusing on the elusive “present moment.” However, I’m honestly just too high strung to participate in that meditative state of being “here,” I have to be somewhere else, on to the next thing, two steps forward and no looking back. There is nostalgia in the idea of the future, a romanticized vision of what’s to come. Even if we are considering the end of the world as we know it, at least we can equate it to a dark and fantastical cinematic event…
As I currently float in between the awkward gap of pure adulthood and my awkward teenage years, I can’t help but worry for us dreamers; the ones who spend days disengaged with the world and at night retreat to the wonderment of tomorrow. Is this state of purgatory our permanent address? Will we continue to ache for the next wildest adventure or will we succumb to finding peace in the stagnancy of the everyday? I’m a planner, a list maker and maybe a little stir crazy but I like to think that these oddities, as much as they may hold me back from engaging in “today,” allow me to envision and plan for my tomorrow. If you don’t create your future someone else will hire you to help create theirs. That reality is something I refuse to give into. So maybe that’s why I believe so much in the future and it’s grandeur.
I will be the creator of my tomorrow and I will probably need a to do list to make it happen, but I will do it and with a minute second of satisfaction, I’ll drift on to the next endeavor to feed my sleepless thought process. That’s the exciting quality of the creative mind, it keeps moving continuously on the perpetual ferris wheel within the created theme park of our brains. So keep thinking forward my dreamers, I’m way ahead of you.