The Home of Student Journalism at Lesley University

Girls Who Like Boys Who Like Boys

If I had a dollar for every time I’ve heard a straight woman say “all the good ones are gay”, I’d be able to quit my day job and blog full time.  Given that homosexual men are some of the finest men around, it’s no surprise that many heterosexual ladies have such an appetite for forbidden fruit.  Lord knows I’ve broken my share of hearts.  For lack of a better slang term, we’ll call this type of woman a “fruit fly”.  Try as they might, the best a fruit fly can do is settle for a gay best friend.  Unless, of course, they can do better.

Within the fruit fly breed, there is a subdivision of women who not only thirst for gay studs but actively pursue sexual relations with them.  As if us single gays didn’t have enough to worry about.  My dear friend from school, who we’ll call Ciara, happens to be one of these fascinating creatures.  Recently I picked her brain to get the dirty details:

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Me: What is it about gay men that attracts you? 

Ciara: In my relationships I am always the giver, the pleaser.  Seeing a guy enjoy himself is my pleasure.  I watch gay porn because seeing two guys getting each other off only doubles the pleasure.  In a society that tells you it’s wrong for a guy to be with another guy, there is something so sexy about the ones who break the rules.  Which leads me to my next point: I love the openness/open mindedness that gay men have simply by virtue of the fact that they live a life that requires open mindedness.  And finally, there is also an element of excitement that comes from pursuing/hooking up with a gay man.  It’s taboo, it’s a challenge, and it’s a little kinky.

Me: When did your infatuation with gay men develop? 

Ciara: I probably started lusting after the gays when I got to college.  I was not exposed to any openly gay guys growing up and it was not until college that I was able to explore that world.  At first I was only interested in befriending gay guys.  It was nice to have a male friend I could hang out with without having to worry about being hit on or endangering my relationship.  Ironic, huh?

Me: How have other people reacted? 

Ciara: Most people who I have told are confused and don’t understand.  My friends think it is weird but accept it.  Gay guys themselves are a different story.  When I got a Grindr to increase my odds of tracking down someone who might be curious about experimenting with a girl, I got a lot of contempt.  Although there were several men who were curious about my being on Grindr, some who were interested in experimenting with me, and many who didn’t seem to care, there were also a lot who were downright angry that I had joined “their” sacred app.  I was accused of invading “the one place” that gay men had to themselves and of disrespecting their territory.  That sucked so I deleted it after a while, not wanting to step on any toes.

Me: Could you describe your first sexual experience with a gay man?

Ciara: My first sexual encounter with a gay guy was my junior year of college.  One of my (straight) male friends was accusing me of being obsessed with gay guys and I said “I know I am. If I could find a gay man that would have sex with me I would marry him in an instant.”  Then the responded with the most dangerous thing one could say: “I bet I know someone who would. He’s a masculine gay guy, on the basketball team.”  He must not have realized how serious I was because it was all down hill from here.  Within a few days I found myself at a party with said masculine gay guy (MGG) and I knew what had to be done.  I said no more than 3 sentences to him before I opened the notepad on my phone and typed.  ”I know I’m drunk and you’re gay, but I really want to sleep with you”.  The stars must have been aligned because he looked at my phone and typed back “I think we can arrange something.”  At that point I was doing all I could not to hyperventilate.  Miraculously, less than a half hour later everyone decided they wanted Steak&Shake and decided to leave.  Everyone but me and MGG that is.  As soon as the last person filed out we locked the door and got to it.  Neither of us came, but It was still far better than I had expected.  He was confident and casual and it was fun.

Me: What are the challenges of your fetish?

Ciara: Like I mentioned with the Grindr situation, my desires and advances are not always welcome.  This is a strange new experience for me because, as a fairly attractive women, I have almost never before found my advances unwelcome.  But alas, the hardest part about wanting something you can’t have is that YOU CANT HAVE IT.  Sigh.

Me: Do you have any tips for other straight females looking to hook up with gay men? 

Ciara: Don’t invade Grindr.  Go to gay bars/clubs and meet people in person.  Don’t be offended if they can’t keep it up for a girl.  Don’t expect anything.  Have fun, keep is casual and good luck!

And there you have it.  To all the female gay-lusters like Ciara, more power to you.  A hot man is a hot man no matter what his preference is…and any woman that has to suffer the slings and arrows of Grindr deserves my dearest sympathy/respect.  After all, consensual sexual love of any kind is a natural and beautiful thing.

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